Today I decided that I'm going to take charge of my life. I decided what I want to do... or what I want to keep on doing technically.
I am a very passionate person, and lately I've found myself having many different passions. The thing is, as my mother says, "mucho aprietas y poco abarcas", if you try to squeeze or grab for too much, you'll only get a little. I think of popcorn whenever she says that. You know how you'll try to grab a hand full of pop corn and every time you'll only get one popcorn, 2 if you're lucky. That's how my life has been lately. I love God, I love to sing, I love acting, I love dancing (basically I love the arts), I love health and I love to learn. My true lifelong passion and dream has music and acting and getting up in front of millions of people and just poring my heart out in a song, a song where we can all relate. Pursuing this career is not a walk in the park though. I've come to understand what disappointment is... true disappointment. But it's made me stronger. Today, the first day of July, I realized I am stronger and happier for it. I'm excited actually. See, after a string of unfortunate events regarding my entertainment career, and even my personal life, I decided to take it easy on the entertainment and return to school. I had attended BIOLA University over 5 years ago and had left because I decided I wanted to focus on my entertainment career. I have always been a bubbly and positive person. I believe in myself like no one else does. It also helps that my mom believes in me and wants nothing more than for me to be happy, even if I work at In-N-Out, which I did at one point and I loved it! After going after my dream for 5 years, sacrificing many things in order to obtain my goals, I found myself in the same state as when I had just left BIOLA to pursue my career. That can be very disheartening, especially sense all I did was eat, breath and drink singing and acting. So I went back to school. Not because I gave up, but because I realized that having an education will help my chances at succeeding in my dreams rather than take away from it. The problem is that in taking on school on top of my dream and deciding to start my own business that would help people get healthy, I had overwhelmed myself. I started my health business because so many people now days think that eating and living healthy is impossible, but it is incredibly possible, and I want to help people realize that and achieve their goals. So Daisy: the singer, actress, student, health advisor. #doingitall.
I'm so deeply passionate about all of those things, but in order to succeeded in any of them, I knew I was going to have to pick one. Those aren't my only goals. I want to get married soon and start a family someday, I want to help the needy, I want to serve my church and I want to be able to spend time with my family. The words that have been on my mind for months now is "which one will you focus on first?" I truly believe that you can do many things in life, but one at a time and to excel in one area of your life means you can do more with your life.
I tried doing them all for a while and because of that, I did nothing. When you wake up in the morning with 5 goals that you want to accomplish simultaneously within the next 2 years, you don't really know where to start. Do I work out first? Do I pray first, Do I eat first? Should I work on a song? Maybe a scene from a movie? Do I read about health? Word from the experienced, always pray first, a prayer of thanks because each day brings something new. Whether it is sad or good, but it is new and for that I will always be grateful. Life is full of surprises and each of them builds character in us and character brings hope. Written by a very wise Author.
Well, in my confusion on what I should do first, with so many thoughts and ideas floating around in my brain, I wasn't able to act on any of them. If I was working out I would be thinking about learning a song, and if I was praying I was thinking about writing to a casting director to see if I could get in for an audition. This brought a sort of light depression on my life. I didn't know what I was suppose to be doing and I felt useless and insecure. I figured God would just point it out to me and tell me what I should be doing, but life doesn't work that way. We have God's blessing, so long as we are with Him, so all we have to do is make a choice and go for it, and He will bless us. Today I realized, He's going to do whatever He wants and use me however He wants anyways, so I might as well do SOMETHING. Also, if I have a dream, it's only because He put it there. That saying, "follow your heart" really just means follow the desire God placed in your heart.
So I woke up this morning and realized it's the first day of my favorite month in the year! I made my choice! I want entertainment. I'm tired of being afraid. Afraid of failing, afraid of losing, afraid of relationships. I called my old manager and it was a wonderful concise conversation. After deciding that YES!, I do want to pursue my dream, I had so much energy. I ran lines for a scene, I worked on a song I am writing, I worked out and I ate healthy (including taking my USANA vitamins). What I noticed even more is that my family didn't bother me as much. Lately, I have felt overwhelmed by my family. I felt unloved, hurt, annoyed and disappointed. These feelings took over my life. Everyone feels those feelings at one point or another in life, but my feelings were not just feelings, they ran my life. It was as though it was all I had. I think the reason why I felt that way was because I was disappointed with myself and was projecting it on them. They don't deserve that, everyone is just doing the best that they can in life.
I'm so excited. My purpose is back! And it has oomph now! So here we go! Lets do this!
What I want to encourage you to do reader is find your goal. Find something that means everything to you and just go for it! Don't look back. Do what makes you happy without fear. Yes trials will appear and it isn't going to be a piece of cake, but it's worth it. It's totally worth it. Because it will bring meaning to your life and when you have meaning you are happy and when you're doing something, that's when God can really use you. He can't use you while you're laying in your bed figuring out what you should do. Just do!
Be encouraged brothers and sisters! If I can do it so can you. It just takes one choice to get yourself going. One step at a time. Go out and buy yourself an agenda/daily planner and color coordinate all of your tasks/meetings/appointments/lunches/facials/runs with a highlighter.
Live with joy and confidence, because you deserve it. Why do you deserve it? Because you were created with love!
In love, peace, joy, happiness and purpose,
Daisy - Created with love chick
